The American Dream…on Election Day

Something I often think of is upward mobility…the American Dream.

It was a part of my inner voice before I knew how to define it.

I always believed we were working to grow in everything we did. All of the people I loved and admired the most were ranked higher socially and economically than the generation before them. And more importantly, the quality of education in which they received was superior generation by generation.

My mother’s father never went beyond first grade. And to hear him tell the story of why is heartbreaking. He needed to join his siblings to work on the farm- to ensure they could eat. One can only imagine that kind of pressure on a six year old boy.

Papaw’s stories are all memorable, but the one that takes my breath away is about the loss of his eyesight in one eye. Something so simple, quite literally, changed the way he saw the world forever. He was chopping wood to heat his dirt floor home and a splinter went into his eye. A doctor wasn’t an option, so his mother treated it as best she could and he eventually became partially blind.

Years later, Papaw made a living and supported all of us by ‘chopping wood.’ He became a logger, mostly harvesting Florida cypress. Specifically he was a skidder operator- pulling timber out of the forest with a big machine, working dark to dark. He was, quite frankly, one of the most successful people I knew growing up. Papaw was respected, hardworking and unwavering in his commitment to financially support his family. My admiration for him is never-ending.

The smell of breakfast coming from Mamaw’s kitchen each morning as Papaw prepped to go into the woods was like an alarm clock in my grandparents’ home. Fried bacon, fried eggs, fried potatoes and gravy with homemade buttermilk biscuits. Lying in bed, I could hear the low hum of all of the voices at her table as she fed Papaw and his fellow loggers before the sun rose. And it was in the evenings, when they returned, that I first earned money working for the forest products industry…pulling boot after boot off tired wet feet- for a dollar a pair.

Years later, I became the first person in my mother’s family to graduate from college. After exploring a couple of industries, I found myself in an interview seat at the National Hardwood Lumber Association in Memphis applying to be the Assistant Editor of the organization’s magazine. The story of Papaw was told in that interview seat and I began working there a few weeks later. I quickly took on more responsibilities within the association, eventually finding myself speaking to rooms of executives, traveling to schools across the country, shaking hands with politicians, working with colleges and universities, tromping through the forests of the United States and Canada and loving every single second of it…in the same industry as my beloved Papaw.

So, that’s the highlight reel.

Even the simplest things can catch you off guard and knock you off your game in upward mobility. Things like knowing how to properly shake a hand, which fork to use, which water glass is yours, when to stand, when to sit, how to not be overly in awe of a Ritz Carlton hotel, what to wear and so on can make you feel like an imposter, a fake or a wannabe. But, who you choose to be in your life will change everything. I can pinpoint so many wonderful people who taught me these things- with grace. Even the simple task of drinking wine was a foreign experience. I never knew the level of education that went into wine drinking and it was wonderful to have someone I worked closely with overlook the fact that I didn’t even know how to pronounce ‘Merlot.’

The undercarriage of sacrifice and commitment is the part we rarely talk about. The cutting of ties, the missing of experiences, the grit, the grind and the battle with imposter syndrome lurks throughout each step of upward mobility. Notably, you have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Upward mobility is not clean cut…it can damage you with a simple splinter. But, the courage to keep going and the refusal to let the past damage the future is powerful. Sure, there’s setbacks. There’s times you find yourself being pulled by people you love and times in which you want to run them down and drag them with you, but the chase of what is ahead is where the real growth is- maybe that’s the origin of ‘chasing your dreams.’ Nobody is dragged there.

When you get where you’re going and look around and see those who have been with you from where you’ve been, you’ll dig so deep into those relationships and hold them like no other. And then…you’ll breathe it all in and get back to climbing.

Nobody experiences upward mobility alone.

American Dream: Noun

The ideal that every citizen of the United States should have an equal opportunity to achieve success and prosperity through hard work, determination, and initiative.

-Oxford English Dictionary